


Alcohol, The Hobbit, and Forgotten Tea

by theflyingdalek



Category: Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: 00Q - Freeform, Fluff, M/M, caretaker!bond, cuteness, drunk!q, i wasn't sure where i was going, pre-established
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-29
Updated: 2012-12-29
Packaged: 2017-11-22 20:17:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/613896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theflyingdalek/pseuds/theflyingdalek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Did you hear me?", Q asked petulantly, "I hate you."</p>
<p>"I heard you, Q", Bond sighed before giving in, "Why do you hate me?"</p>
<p>"You're a jerk. And you're gorgeous. And you're good at your job. You shouldn't be able to be all three. It isn't fair.", Q complained.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alcohol, The Hobbit, and Forgotten Tea

"I may be a bit drunk", Q slurred, as he leaned against James Bond's shoulder.

"That you are", Bond agreed cheerfully.

"I hate you.", Q replied.

Q frowned when he noticed that Bond wasn't answering.

"Did you hear me?", Q asked petulantly, "I hate you."

"I heard you, Q", Bond sighed before giving in, "Why do you hate me?"

"You're a jerk. And you're gorgeous. And you're good at your job. You shouldn't be able to be all three. It isn't fair.", Q complained.

James Bond turned his head away from Drunk Q before allowing himself to smile. Q would probably be offended. Actually, sober Q would probably be mortified.

"Well, Q, _you're_ kind of a jerk, you're gorgeous, and you're good at your job", Bond pointed out.

"Not gorgeous", Q mumbled into Bond's shoulder.

"I think I'm a better judge of that than you are", Bond answered.

"You're a terrible judge of character", Q complained.

"It's a good thing that I'm judging your looks and not your character then." 

James Bond propped the drunk Q against the wall and grabbed his lock picking kit. It only took a few seconds to pick the lock on Q's door, but apparently Q had some sort of loud alarm that set off as soon as non-key object entered the lock. 

"You've got to punch in the code", Q reminded groggily.

"Well, what's the code then, Q?", Bond asked, rolling his eyes.

"58007."

"Double oh seven, then?", Bond teased.

"Shut up."

Bond swung the door open and then returned to retrieve his smashed companion.

"You're heavier than you look, you know", Bond complained lightheartedly.

"That's flattering."

Bond flicked the light switch on and looked around. Q's flat was much more homey and cluttered than he had expected. Knick knacks and old books looked like they were about to fall off the overcrowded bookshelves. The curtains and furniture were all of good quality, but seemed like they had been there for a while. Bond wondered what Q did before he became Q.

Bond turned around when he heard a thump. Q had fallen to the ground. 

"You're ridiculous", Bond muttered as he walked over and pulled Q over to what he assumed was the bedroom. 

Q's bedroom looked like the rest of the flat with the exception of the unmade bed in the corner. Bond dragged Q over to the bed and dropped him in the middle of it.

"Sleep", Bond instructed.

"Don't tell me what to do."

Bond chuckled a little before getting up to leave.

"Don't leave."

Bond stopped. He wasn't planning on leaving, but he hadn't expected Q to ask him to stay.

"I'm not going anywhere, Q", Bond reassured.

Q's answer was muffled by the pillow which was covering his face, so Bond lightly closed the bedroom door behind him before going into the kitchen.

Bond had always been naturally nosy, and his MI6 training made him even more so. After making a quick safety sweep through the flat, Bond began to go through drawers and things, seeing what kind of life Q lived. The living room was dreadfully normal, so Bond moved on to the kitchen.

The kitchen was pretty normal as well. The cupboards were filled with dried pasta and tins of tea. Bond opened the refrigerator and was a bit surprised by the huge amount of beer cans. Either Q was an alcoholic or he actually had friends.

Bond set the kettle on and waited for the water to boil. 

As he waited, he walked over to one of the many bookshelves in the living room and picked out one of the most worn books. Bond snorted. _The Hobbit_ It figured that Q was not only a geek, he was a closet nerd. Bond had never read the book. He hadn't had time when he was a boy to read children's stories, but it seemed like it was going to be a long night, so Bond flipped to the first page.

Bond had finished the first two chapters by the time the kettle whistled. He didn't set the book down as he rustled through the cabinets with one hand to find one of the tins of tea. Bond wasn't really picky with his tea, so he didn't even look down at the can before scooping a spoonful of the tea into the strainer basket which was nestled in the teapot that was already on the counter. He kept on reading   
as he poured the steaming water into the pot.

Bond read a few more pages as he waited for the tea to steep. 

The next few hours passed by rather quickly as Bond devoured the novel. It was an easy book to fall into. 

The tea lay forgotten in the teapot. 

Q was one of the very very rare breed of people who was lucky enough to not suffer from hangovers. Bond almost growled when the boy came out of his room sleepy but cheerful enough.

"Are you serious?", Bond grumbled.

"What?"

"You were ridiculously smashed last night, and now you don't even have a headache."

Q just grinned as he waltzed over to the kitchen table where Bond had been lightly napping.

"I don't get hangovers!", Q chirped.

Bond rubbed his hand over his face.

"Did you read _The Hobbit_?!", Q asked excitedly.

"I've never read it before", Bond replied.

"Did you like it?"

"It was alright."

Q rolled his eyes before walking over to the stove and setting the kettle back on. He took the lid off of the tea pot.

"Did you make tea and then forget about it?", he laughed.

"Maybe."

" _The Hobbit_?", Q asked with laughter in his voice.

"Yes, your stupid book about Middle Earth distracted me from the pressing issues of drinking tea.", Bond replied dryly.

"Don't be embarrassed!", Q exclaimed, "Being a nerd is fun."

"Are you well enough for me to leave now?", Bond asked.

"I'm fine, Bond", Q replied, rolling his eyes.

James Bond pulled on his blazer and brushed himself off, smoothing out imaginary wrinkles in his slacks. Right as he was about to leave though, Q coughed lightly for Bond's attention.

"Thank you, Bond", he whispered almost too quietly to hear. "For staying."

Bond didn't turn around to answer, but he did smile.

"Anytime, Q darling. Anytime."


End file.
